I Wanna Be Gay!
When my parents discovered that I was a heroin user, they were very understanding. In fact, they seemed as though they had been waiting for something. And that something seems to have been that I was gay. "A junkie?! At least he's not gay!"
Admittedly, heroin use is a choice and homosexuality is not. And junkies are much more likely to produce grandchildren—especially male junkies. So I understand where my parents were coming from.
But if I did have a choice, I would have picked being gay. To me, being a heroin user is largely about finding one's place in the world. Nothing gives a life more focus than a good, expensive dope habit. Somehow, I believe that if I had been gay, that would have been enough. And that would have been really nice, because in my time and place, homosexuality was not a crime.
Someday, people will look back on the treatment of drug users today with the same horror that we look back on the imprisonment, castration, and murder of gays only a short time ago. For now, however, I wish I were gay.